Why I Vanished from Social Media

I wish I could say there was only one reason. But there was definitely a primary reason. The last two months have been a little rough for my family. My little sister had a major stroke. For those of you who’ve had a loved one go through this you’ll understand perfectly what I mean. It’s sudden, unexpected, and unfortunately my sister didn’t make it to the hospital in time to get the medication that would have saved her from the more severe damage. So there we were: a family in turmoil having to make major decisions regarding my sister’s life.

Truly, social media had become habitual chaos. Posting, commenting, liking, sharing across four–sometimes five–platforms can be a lot. When real life happens, suddenly it can appear to be a little absurd. With the challenges of new circumstances, clicking on a social media icon was too difficult. My little sister’s life was forever altered, and there was a window when we weren’t sure if she would survive. So eventually, I went onto all my social media sites and just deleted them. One after the other and in a matter of a seconds they were all gone. And there was something empowering about that moment. I knew what mattered most and I was going to give it my full attention.

There was a part of me that felt a little guilty. I had released my debut novel in late July and had been plugging away on social media to promote the book. I met many great folks. Sometimes I wished I had that back again. The playful comments and genuine connections. There are a ton of kind and generous people out there. Right now my days are filled with juggling my kids’ needs, helping with my little sister, and continuing to serve in Indian Child Welfare. We just finished Cherokee Nation’s Angel Project where we gave Christmas gifts to 2,800 Cherokee children in need. We made Christmas a little brighter for some of our most impoverished citizens. I also got to spend quality time with my daughters, and worked with my little sister to help her speak again. It’s been busy and trying in profound ways.

I’m grateful, and I’ve been good about being grateful, but maybe I’m a little more grateful these days. Maybe sometime in the future I’ll start my social media back up again. If a new normal ever sets in. For the time being, I’ll be posting here on my blog. It’s much more straight forward and easy to engage with. Right now I need to keep my life simple to get through.

18 thoughts on “Why I Vanished from Social Media

  1. So very sorry. Priorities! I’ve pulled back greatly, in part for my own mental health. Continued steps forward, in spite of the ones back. A little late, just reading the marvelous Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. 🙏 Peace be with you, brother.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I deleted all of my social media accounts and it was life changing. There was more time for well, just about everything. My love of reading returned and I felt more creative. The one account I did recover is FB. The reason I went back is strictly because FB has become a daily part of the lives of several long distance members of the family.
    Praying and sending healing thoughts for your sister’s recovery. May the new year bring peace and healing to you and yours.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I left Facebook over a decade ago. I don’t even miss it now. I attempted opening a new one for my current business and it post to be such a huge problem with all the rules and regulations now in place. Facebook just felt like entering a CA state prison or California public school system I don’t know if there’s any difference. i’m not quite sure how this WordPress app works, I typed in art… And you were one of the first things in the stream. Many blessings to u and ur fam. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can completely understand. When my sister suddenly passed away this past April, I had just released another MG book but had zero energy to promote. Very robotic. I was glad to make it through the holidays without feeling overly sad. Instead, I found joy in remembering poignant yet silly memories. RIP Miss Gay. 🌺 PS: I still stay connected via social media but substantially less. Enjoy your well-deserved break.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for choosing wisely and sharing with us about your decision. The decisions you made are completely understandable. Life and reality can awaken us to what is truly important, and social media isn’t in my top 50. You’ve helped ease the pressure for many others who juggle the whys and whats l. God bless you for helping impoverished children and being there to assist your family and help your sister learn to speak again. Prayers for your sister, and you, and your family as you navigate toward your new normal.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorry to hear about your sister. I hope she gets well soon. Social media is a fake world. People get sucked in and become addicted to this virtual sham. It plays hide and seek with the ego. Good that you’ve been able to “see the light”
    and steer clear of it! Stay strong!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. For what it’s worth, I do no social media at all, and I agree with your commenter that the support here on WordPress is generally of a higher and finer kind. Blessings on your sister, and on all your good work. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  8. So happy to hear from you. I am quiet on Twitter for now. I also have stuff going on. Please keep in touch. I hope you book is getting out there. Milo (Tom Somers)

    Liked by 2 people

  9. My heart goes out to you and your family. God bless you for stepping away from this distant world of screens and words and giving yourself time in the world of touch and family connections. I hope your sister will one day fully recover. Meantime, good for you for being there for her, Oscar. ❤️👍🏽

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I received my copy of ‘Calling For A Blanket Dance’ and read it in a few sittings. Your honesty and portrayal of the many challenges involved pulled me in immediately. I’m sorry to hear about your family’s challenges and will send good thoughts and prayers.

    I’ve weened myself off of most platforms, but do share some on Facebook. Unfortunately folks are becoming meaner rather than understanding. I may get off altogether. However, I’m looking forward to your blog-posts and will continue to read what you write. Blessings to you and those you love.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Oscar, I am so sorry Your Sister, YOU, & Your Family are going through this. If You don’t mind, I will add You all to my Morning Prayers. Regardless, know I am sending You Strength, Positive Thoughts, & PEACE of Mind.
    I have wondered how You were doing. Troubles like this have a Way of focusing Us on Our TRUE Priorities.
    I am rarely on social media since midterm elections, & frankly, I feel Healthier without it, despite the Connections I made there.
    Thank You for sharing HERE, I think You will find this platform more personal & uplifting. Please take Care of Your Self.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. If only more people would step away from social media. What a good example you’ve set. Hoping that your sister progresses in the new year. Although I preordered your book a while back, I’m just now settling in post-Christmas for a good read. I’m really enjoying your story.

    Liked by 3 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s